Part one, and Part 2 discuss some of the varied opinions about who has a "right" to search. Now I will answer that question from my perspective.

I did not search myself for many of the usual reasons. Birth Mothers Who Do Not Search explains many of those reasons.

Prior to... more

In part one, I discussed what many people think about adoptees and birth parents searching. Let's talk now about others searching.

Adoptive Parents

Many adoptees might be pleased that their adoptive parents want to search for them. I would imagine that would vary depending on their ages. Other adoptees feel that a search is up to them at any age and might not appreciate any efforts that adoptive parents might make as far as searching on their... more

The Social Security Death Index is a several million name database that comes from the Death Masters List of the Social Security Administration System. For a person to be listed on the Social Security Death Index the individual would had to have received benefits while alive. The second part of the criteria is that if the deceased did not file for benefits, his or her survivors had to have requested and received benefits. Third, the Social Security Administration had to have filed this information electronically so that it could be available for input into the appropriate... more

One day in June 2005, an adoptee received an unexpected phone call that changed her life forever. Her birth mother had been visiting adoption.com about another topic, and saw a link for adoption search. She decided to search the reunion registry database and came up with the name of a young woman whose information matched her query. She then searched the Internet for the woman’s name and found the MA Adoption Reunion Registry.

The adoptee was born in Natick in 1982 to a woman who was 17 years old. She chose to relinquish her child to... more

There are some counties within the states that allow a person into a room where files are kept. This is becoming less common since records are being stored behind counters with no entry allowed. However, in most counties someone can request a file and a clerk will look it up. Do not mention adoption. If you do, you will not get a file.

Records that are stored locally at the County Courthouse are adoption records. Case workers reports are normally filed under the case number and/or the date of birth. Relinquishments are usually filed under a file number... more

The number of folks on the internet grows daily. I am not aware of any exact numbers of how many triad members searching are using the internet as an aid in their search. Since the numbers grow every day, I thought it would be good to address searching on the internet.

Search engines are a wonderful asset. You can enter the name you are searching for into a search engine in homes of finding he person listed on some website. If you put the name in quotation marks will aid you by finding the exact name you are searching for. In some cases if you enter a phone number... more

If you haven’t noticed yet, the majority of the adoptees that search are females. However, I do think that with the internet, more male adoptees are starting to search. When I look at the PARR database, most of the folks registered are between the years of 1966-1972. There are more adoptees searching than birth moms. The opposite is true for the adoptions of the 1980’s. There are more birth mothers searching than adoptees. I think that what birth mothers were told had changed by the 1980’s and that is why they feel more free to search. As for birth fathers,... more

I think that there is a time during search that everyone feels like their search is difficult. What I am going to write about is meant more for those who have been searching for a period of years or even decades. The information contained here is in RARE cases and is more than likely NOT the case if you have been searching for someone for a few months. Some of what I write may be applicable in one state and not in another. The state specific search and support groups will be able to guide you in regards to your specific state.

It is rare that an adoption... more

Whenever someone begins a search, one of the first steps to take is to obtain your non-identifying information. What you find on your own copy of your non-id may vary depending on who compiled it.

It just dawned on me recently that nothing was ever mentioned to me about non-identifying information when I relinquished my son. No one told me that based on the facts that I gave them, that they would be putting together a few sheets of information that my son would someday receive. I do recall that they asked me some basic questions about both me and birth dad. However,... more

Ultimately, the choice to search, and the avenue you choose to search, is an individual decision. The choice is yours and it belongs to you. When you are in the decision making phase, I think it is very important to consider motivations, objectives, time frames, resources, and boundaries prior to beginning a physical search process whether it be domestically or internationally. Think about how search may change your present relationships. Try not to base your decision on the thoughts and feelings of others but rather know with clarity that the desire to search or not is truly... more