Grab your cup of coffee, and let's talk about some of the search and reunion issues on your mind. Karen and I have blogging about this subject for awhile now and we have covered alot. We have been fortunate to receive our fair share of comments, but, we would love even more input.

We have talked about how to begin a search, helpful data bases and resources available. Since emotions are such a huge factor in adoption search and reunion, we have blogged about many of those issues. Karen, as an adoptee who searched and found the grave of her natural mother at the end... more

One of the initial tasks in searching is gathering information and documents. It is obvious why some documents are important. However, you may not understand the significance of others. One of the first documents that you are generally instructed to try to obtain is your non-identifying ("non-ID"). It comes from the agency or state in most instances.

There are many clues in the non-identifying information, even though you may not immediately recognize them. For instance, the occupation of the birth parents are often listed in the non-id... more

One of the most under utilized resources for adoptees who are searching is their adoptive family. Some adoptees wait too late to ask their adoptive families for information. Adoption secrets go to the grave with them, as they sometime do with birth parents. Adoptees often wait to begin a search until both adoptive parents are no longer living.

I would like to urge you to consider not waiting until your adoptive parents have passed away to search. Give them some credit for understanding your need to search. Enlist their help to actively support you during your search instead of... more

Although I have read a great deal about laws in each state which dictate access to adoption records, I recently discovered that a few states even have laws which specifically address adoption searches. I believe that they are perhaps referring to a search that is being conducted through the state. It is worth checking in your state if you are contemplating a search.

Here is the link for Wisconsin, one of the states I found has specific laws which address adoption search. Below... more

Identifying information is any information that may lead to the positive identification of an adopted person, natural parents, or other natural relatives. Identifying information includes the current name of the person. It usually also includes an address or other contact information so that adopted persons and natural relatives can arrange personal contact.

The statutes in nearly all States permit the release of identifying information when the person whose information is sought has consented to the release. New Jersey, the District of... more

In nearly all States, adoption records are sealed and withheld from public inspection after the adoption is finalized. Most States have instituted procedures by which parties to an adoption may obtain non identifying and identifying information from an adoption record while still protecting the interests of all parties.

Non identifying information is generally limited to descriptive details about an adopted person and the adopted person’s birth relatives and is provided to the adopting parents at the time of the adoption. Non identifying... more

The Salvation Army has a missing persons division in each of four territorial regions. Their national headquarters for maternity home records information is at the Georgia address below. The website it: http://salvationarmy-usaeast.org/find/booth_babies.htm

Eastern Territory Headquarters for CT, DE, ME, MA, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, VT, RI —120 West 14th St., New York City, NY 10011;

Central Territory Headquarters for IL, IN, IA, KS, MI, MN, MO, NE, ND, SD, WI —2258... more

Last night, my husband and I had a conversation where I shared a fear that I have with him. His response was that fears are based on assumptions and used the analogy of your in the woods and fear a lion….you assume the lion is going to attack so that is why you are afraid. I had no response and have been mulling over this thought process ever since.

I think what he was trying to say is that I had to figure out is determine what my fear is based on. You can’t beat what isn’t real and you can’t overcome what is real if you won’t admit... more

7. Are you ready to meet possible extended family and integrate new members as your family? – When you meet your natural family, you are taking on more, not less. You open yourself up to a family that you may not remember and yet is yours by birth. You must decided how much of your life you ant to share with them. The day I learned my natural mother was deceased I also learned that I had a sister that I had never known about before in addition to uncles, aunts, and cousins. I never had thought about meeting these folks but they all wanted to... more

4. Are you ready to confront your adoption? When you meet your natural family you non longer can pretend that you were not adopted. Some don’t search or meet their natural parents because they are afraid of how their adoptive parents will feel. When I told my parents that I was going to search for my natural family I was afraid that the only parents I knew might feel that I did not love them. I didn’t want my adoption search and hopeful reunion to negate the years of nurture given to me by my mom and dad. Then, one day about a year into my... more