The 18th annual statewide conference titled Adoption 2007: Making Dreams Come True will be held May 10-12, 2007 at the Marriott Hotel in Albany, New York. They have planned an exciting lineup of nationally known speakers and workshops that will provide up to date information on the most important issues in adoption today.

You can learn more about the conference by visiting the website http://www.nysccc.org/. The conference brochure is available in a PDF file format, there is a description of the workshops... more

The Stork Market by Mirah Ruben is an in depth examination of the corruption in the adoption industry: the fine line between black and gray market adoptions; scams; coercion and explanation in a market based on supply and demand with prices based on quality such as age and skin color of the merchandise and set as high as desperate consumers are willing to pay.

The Stork Market has been extensively researched, documented and including interviews with the top adoption experts. The Stork Market asks if adoption can be fixed where the money aspect is removed... more

What are other negative aspects of a search? Personally, I hate to hear when people forego a search due to worries of hurting either birth or adoptive parents. For birth parents, reunions can sometimes be very positive and help them heal. Most adoptive parents want what is best for their children, and sometimes that is an adoption search and reunion. Adoptive parents are less hurt if they understand the reasons and dynamics of search and reunion.

Until you search and locate your child or birth parent, you cannot know whether the timing is... more

For someone who wants to search, it might be hard to understand why someone would not wish to search. However, so many factors shape our personalities, and in turn reasons for and against searching. Although I can cite a variety of reasons that a search is a good idea, it is much more challenging for me to cite the negative aspects of a search.

So many of the reasons I hear people cite for not searching don't seem reasonable or make much sense to me. However, I know that it isn't my place to judge other people's reasons. They must do what they... more

Triad members are often amazed at the similarities that they share between them or the opposite can happen where they are very different with little common ground. The adoptee may physically resemble the natural parent. This can be something that is very important to the adoptee. Often times this is the first family connection that they meet that has a physical resemblance.

All involved in reunion bring with them their own personal fantasies about the other person and expectations. The reunion can go better than expected or... more

The article published on March 1, 2007 titled “Family Counsel: The Primal Wound of Adoption" caught my eye.

The article made me think of the book titled The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Verrier. Although the book is mentioned another book is also mentioned titled Babies Remember Birth. In this book psychologist David Chamberlain writes “minutes after birth a baby can pick up his mother’s face which... more

First, I will start with a disclaimer. In case you haven't been following this blog, I have been here writing about search and reunion for over a year. It is a reasonable assumption that I would not be doing so unless I believed in the value of reunions. Part of my motivation is the positive benefits that my reunion have offered to me.

However, I know many adoptees and birth parents whose searches have produced very differing results. Some reunions have resulted that have been phenomenal with strong and long-lasting relationships as the end... more

Grab your tissues, this letter from Baby Boy #3331 to his birth mother may bring on the tears. Some reunion stories appeal more to birth parents, however, this story has aspects that I believe will touch adoptive parents as well. There are several extremely touching and heartbreaking parts to this story. For starters, the original adoption agreement states that if the adopting wish decide that they do not want "to make this child legally our own, baby boy #3331 may be returned."... more

As I travel through this new series state by state, I welcome any interesting tips about a particular state. Sometimes the best sources of valuable information regarding adoption searches are from people who have already completed a search in a certain state. The information I will provide will vary for each state depending on what is available.

For general state specific information the Child Welfare Information Gateway link provides a wealth of useful information... more

Recently someone asked me a few questions about being contacted by an intermediary on behalf of someone they were separated from through adoptions a few decades ago.

This initial contact left this person with lump in her stomach and she felt as if her world was turned upside down She also had a sense of relief and excitement. She had a variety of feelings surface from elation to sadness, joy to anger, along with a high level o f anxiety and an overwhelming need to have immediate contact.

In general it is safe to say that... more