Nancy Verrier’s book goes on to discuss dissociating which is a way of escaping their own bodies and anesthetizing what is happening to them. In the natural state the body produces natural opiates to calm the distress. When adoptees or natural mothers can not seem to dissociate spontaneously then they often turn to alcohol or narcotics to relive the pain. She say that at that point anything is better than feeling that pain.

There is research that supports in natural mothers what is called secondary infertility. Nancy... more

Do you think it would help if all triad members try to gain a more global perspective about what happened to each of the members involved in adoption. Especially since most triad members carry shame, guilt, fear, and a tremendous sense of loss. Some adoptees may have a belief that there must have been something inherently wrong with us. It is about being the “bad baby” and blaming the natural mother. This is how some try to understand what happened to us and why we feel the way we do.

Is there a lack of understanding... more

My natural mother died in 1992 and I found her in 1993. I grieved for someone I never knew. I had to accept that I would never know her truth. Through the years, I have found much comfort in helping others. By helping others has helped me to stay focused and reminds me that my true goal in my search was to find my roots and why I was adopted. I didn’t expect nothing more or nothing less. Unfortunately, with finding a grave there are still unanswered questions but what I did find out was the truth. It may not have always been pleasant... more

You may be having feelings concerning your adoption situation and aren’t sure if they are normal. One thing to remember is that no matter what anyone says you area strong person. You may not feel like it right now if you are on the emotional roller coaster of reunion but you will work your way though and feel strong again.

When I started my adoption search there were folks who were against it. I felt as if I had grown up being lied to and treated different than those around me for whatever reason. I was the type of person to... more

The term or word abandoned has negative connotations not only in adoption but in every aspect of the word. However, there is a different between how and adoptee can feel abandoned and saying that all adoptees are abandoned. The word abandoned really doesn’t define what happened and doesn’t it invalidate the trauma of the initial loss and the ongoing pay that is carried?

Maybe the term surrender is a more appropriate word for natural mothers because it seems they didn’t have a choice. At least during the closed adoption era.... more

A newspaper in Indiana is fighting to open adoption records in Indiana in a specific adoption case. A law is currently being considered in the state as well to make it a misdemeanor to accept anything of value for arranging surrogate births in the state.

The Indianapolis Star on Thursday filed a petition to open records in the case, which is pitting Indiana's adoption secrecy law against the public's right to know how the courts do business.

Their efforts to open adoption records in Indiana is detailed in this... more

The more I think about the subject abandonment the more I think I should write a little more on the subject.

Doesn’t the word abandonment itself seem to cause a lot of hurt feelings? Don’t all triad members have their own strong feelings about the word itself?

Maybe adoptees want an acknowledgement that they felt abandoned. It doesn’t mean that the adoptee blame the natural mothers or think that they had a choice about it. I am not saying to deny the natural mothers experience. The closed adoption era was a different... more

Illinois, Evanston - The Cradle, 2049 Ridge Avenue, Evanston, IL 60201 In the 1960’s this maternity home was called The Cradle Society. They had an in-house nursery which all the infants were housed until they went with the adoptive parents. They also operated an infant nurse school from 1926 thru 1972

Louisiana, New Orleans - The Methodist Home The Methodist Home hospital was and still is located on Washington St. Since 1972 It is a home for abused and neglected children. The contact information for The Methodist Home is: P.O.... more

There are many maternity homes through out the United States. Some still exist and some no longer exist. This 2 part blog series is touching base on only a few. If there is a particular maternity home you are interested in, please let me know.

Booth Memorial Hospitals There were Booth Memorial Hospitals in most major U.S. cities and they were run by the Salvation Army. The hospitals are closed now and the records have been warehoused.

The contact information is as follows:

Central Territory Headquarters 10... more

Since I live in California and know how to search best in my own state, I am dedicating an entire post to California searching. California's state website provides information on access within California. The site gives details of the state's "mutual consent program" which is similar to a mutual consent registry. I know many people who have searched in the state, none have been matched by this registry.

It is a large enough state as well to make it worthwhile. Southern California, which... more