It is funny how defensive some adoptive parents can be. I have a cousin whose daughter is adopted. This young adult (mid-late 20’s) is struggling in life. She has a lot of pain which is obvious. I have tried to talk to her adoptive parents about it several years ago and attempted to steer the discussion on the adoption side of things. I thought that I would try and explain the “primal wound” and that immediately turned the conversation off. She was adamant that her daughter didn’t have a problem with adoption and she was just having a difficult... more

The feeling of differentness causes some adoptees to isolate themselves from family and friends and to feel they are less of a person than others. Some typical behaviors for the adoptee who feels different are chemical dependency, seeking out lowlife peers, distancing from family members, and trying on new identities that are very different from their adoptive family.

Some adoptees no matter how old they are chronologically feel that there is a part of them that will always be a child. Depending of the state of birth and adoption the fact that... more

One adoption issue that I don’t think I have talked about is control. This might be when an adoptee feels as though her or she has had no control over the events in his or her life. Decisions surrounding relinquishment, choice of adoptive family, and information to be shared with the adoptee were all made by other people. The adoptee may feel helpless and frustrated that life seems to be a series of uncontrollable events. As a result the adoptee’s need to be in control of something often becomes an issue. Some typical behaviors are need for control, chemical... more

A recent article talked about Iowa Governor Thomas J. Vilsack's possible search for his birth mother. The speculation is that he may wait awhile before beginning a search since he is considering a run for the Presidency. I have to admit the thought of a Presidential campaign and an adoption search simultaneously does sound like a full schedule.

I also came across this discussion ... more

I recently read about an adoptee who applied for her passport and her application was denied. She and her family were planning a vacation out of the country and her and her husband had applied for their passports together. Her husband had received his passport a couple of weeks before she received a letter advising her that her application for a passport was denied because her birth certificate was dated over a year after her birth.

It is my understanding that the folks who issue the passports consider a birth certificate issued more than... more

http://www.freeprf.com/

This link is a free public records index from United States public record databases and world wide public record directories including free criminal records, people finder, court records, vital records, property records and more. The site is free to use and no login or password is required.

The site has a link for 51 states and it appears as if the only one missing is Puerto Rico. When you click on a specific state, a list of various links are available from a state, city, or county... more

Sen. Dick Sears had already been sworn in seven times prior to Wednesday, but his eighth time was special — he shared it with a family member who, just months ago, he did not know existed.

Vermont state senator, Dick Sears, just told about finding his sister. He discussed their reunion, and how she watched him being sworn into office.

An interesting element of Senator Sears' story is that he has dedicated his life to working with delinquent children. Until reunion,... more

It's now official! DMC, aka Darryl McDaniels, formerly of the legendary rap group Run DMC, is appearing at the American Adoption Congress Conference this year in Boston. Darryl McDaniels is scheduled to give the keynote speech this year at the conference. I had heard some months back that Darryl might be at the conference and am glad to confirm that he will be there. This year's conference is the 28th annual Conference.... more

In this blog, my blogging partner and I talk about many ways to search. With a few exceptions, most states have provisions to provide non-identifying information to searchers. Many states also have registries and confidential intermediary systems, and a few other resources.

Sometimes I wonder if people ever read about all the ways to search and find birth family members and think the system that we have now is sufficient. Just in case, I would like to clarify that point.

First, each state varies a great deal as to what records are accessible.... more

She then told me that she was in the Pentagon on the top floor of the outer ring of the building and missed getting killed by about 40 feet.

A year or so ago, I received an email from a male adoptee in his thirties named Doug Dittbenner. He told me a bit about his reunion story. I can't recall if he asked about publishing his story at Adoption Week e-magazine or I suggested it. However, he did decide to write a story about his reunion.

This is... more