Although I have discussed how to begin a search, a step by step series might be helpful.

Step One is preparing yourself for a search.

By preparing yourself, I mean to educate yourself about the possible outcomes. Many searching adoptees are thoroughly forewarned about a multitude of dire possibilities. Although it is helpful to be prepared for the darkest and most unexpected outcomes, I sometimes think we neglect to discuss possible positive outcomes. I believe that some adoptees are more prepared to find nightmare... more

Back in April of 2006 I wrote a blog about How to Find a Therapist. If you are interested in reading that blog it is at http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/how-to-find-a-therapist. I thought today, I would let you know about the types of help that are available to you.

There are many different professionals who provide mental health services but not all of them may be available in your area. It may help to know the training and credentials... more

If you have not spoken to a birth parent who is searching for their relinquished child, it might surprise you how important the search is to them. Every tiny bit of information that they receive along the way is such a treasure to them. Each dissappointment can be a crushing blow. As they get closer to finding their child parent, those new discoveries put the broadest smiles on their faces that you have ever seen. If you have any doubts about their love for their children, watching them relate a new piece of information will erase those doubts.... more

Are adoptees an arrogant group? Do adoptees tend to think of themselves as special? If they do, maybe it is because some of them were told that they were special or chose. Isn’t that true in a sense but not? In general, are adoptees lucky, the vast majority anyway? Aren’t the adoptees luckier than those children left in institutions or orphanages? Yes, there are still orphanages that exists in the USA. Aren’t adoptees luckier than the children stuck in the foster care system? Sure there are some who are or where abused by their adoptive families... more

You may feel that your life and your search are like a large puzzle. We are all born into this world with a certain set of circumstances that are considered our heritage. How are your values formed? What shapes those values? Whether you know your ancestors, your cultural history, your origin, or the obstacles faced by your natural parents, these things are what help to shape your values.

Have you started to search? Does your family history or thinking about your history empower you to look at your life in a way to try and understand that you you need to... more

The Boy Scout motto which tells us to be prepared is a useful reminder to those of us in closed adoptions. I will be the first to admit that as a birth mother, I was not prepared for reunion. In fact, I had my head so buried in the sand, I never even thought of myself as a birth mother. Preparing for the possibility of reunion was even less on my mind. I knew so little about adoption searches that I figured if my son did not search when he first became of age at 18 or 21 that he probably never would. Now, I know that the... more

Back in March 2006 I wrote a blog about Georgia Tann and Black Market Adoptions. That blog is accessible at http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/georgia-tann.

Today, I learned of a new book that is coming out about Georgia Tann via a news article at http://www.memphisflyer.com/memphis/Content?oid=oid%3A24386.

The story of Georgia Tann is being told by New York author... more

One of my fondest memories of Nathlie is when we were working on the annual conference for the organization. We had set a time to go look at space at a local community college we were contemplating as the venue. We arrive at the school, park at the building we were advised was available for the dates we were interested in and the doors to the building was locked. The determined and stubborn person that I am I was not willing to get in the car and drive away. There were other cars in the parking lot, and I could see lights on in the building. I proceed around the... more

There are so many trite comments one could make about what to expect in an adoption reunion - "Expect the unexpected," is one that I particularly believe is appropriate. Reunions are as varied as the two parties involved in them.

Each party comes to reunion with their own personality, issues and expectations. Rarely are both parties on exactly the same page. In fact, in the beginning of reunion, it is often quite difficult to figure out exactly how the other party does see the relationship.

Many complex elements are involved in an adoption... more

The reason I am writing all of this is that I learned today that Nathlie passed away on April 18, 2006. Part of me is just shocked and another part is deeply saddened. I knew she had lymphoma. What happened was that while she was on chemotherapy she had a throat infection and then developed bleeding ulcers. During a procedure for the bleeding ulcers involving a tube down her throat, the tube inadvertently went to her lungs and spread the infection there and her immune system was too weak to fight it off.

Nathlie dedicated may years... more