Adoption reunion registries can sometimes match people quickly. However, most registries are mutual consent registries and only work when both parties sign up.

Many people are not aware of these registries which cuts down on the probability that they will result in a match. However, with the popularity of the Internet, I believe that more people find their way to registries every day. Reunite.com's registry currently has over 300,000 people registered. Below are some points to regarding the... more

In some reunions, there is an instant and immediate connection. The other party may seem somewhat familiar. There may seem to be many common interests between the two parties, and often many similarities in personalities. The more like minded the two parties are, the greater the probability that they may feel an instant connection.

Sometimes the two parties seem nothing alike. The person that they meet at reunion seems like a stranger, an alien. Nearly every belief that they have may be in opposition to the other party's beliefs.

In... more

For a birth mother in reunion, all sorts of remarks will be offered once you volunteer the news that you have been found or found your child. One of the main reasons I never told anyone that I was a birth mother until reunion was my fear that people would reject me once they heard my "secret." All in all, I was fortunate to receive lots of support and few insensitive comments.

Here are some of the ways and comments nearly guaranteed to stir up reunited birth moms and set their blood boiling:

1. One of the all time favorite comments made... more

This "how-to" will give you some ideas on how to set people straight when you tell them about your search or reunion. Keep it on hand in case you receive some of the stereotypical remarks that many adoptees or birth parents do.

Here are some comments you might receive when you tell someone about a search, and comebacks to those remarks, polite and less polite:

For Adoptees:

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Polite - "She is my mother - well, one of them at least. I would like to know about her and I imagine she might... more

Whether your adult child at reunion articulates the need or not, they probably can benefit from unconditional love from you.

However, I will begin with a warning to proceed slowly and cautiously. Providing unconditional love to your child may be scary for them and overwhelm them.

In How to Support Your Child at Reunion I mentioned that unconditional love is one essential way to support your child at reunion. ... more

There are many reasons why some adoption searches seem to drag on with no success. Some searches are more difficult than others for a variety of reasons. However, your approach to a search can affect how well a search progresses as well. Effective searching begins with being organized.

Here are a few ways to begin an organized search, keep on track and stay focused and organized:

1. Determine what is available in your state to help you search. Check out your state website for information about access to adoption records.... more

When there is a reunion between a birth parent and their child (adult or not), a child might need certain things from their parent. They may be able to articulate what they want or need. It is possible that they have some clear and concise gaps that they hope that their parents can fill in for them.

These gaps might be as simple as answering questions, or they could be more complex. There might be some specific emotional voids that they expect their birth parents to fill. The possibilities are numerous. However,... more

Although I went into reunion cold, with little or no preparation, I figured out quickly it was one relationship I did not intend to mess up. Here are the top tens ways I believe reunion has succeeded for my son and me: 1. Getting the Support Needed – It did not take me long to figure out that I needed a lot of help to wade through the murky and treacherous waters of reunion. Not only did I figure out quickly that I had to tell my husband immediately, I also sought out some professional help quickly as well. I called a psychiatrist... more