The term or word abandoned has negative connotations not only in adoption but in every aspect of the word. However, there is a different between how and adoptee can feel abandoned and saying that all adoptees are abandoned. The word abandoned really doesn’t define what happened and doesn’t it invalidate the trauma of the initial loss and the ongoing pay that is carried?

Maybe the term surrender is a more appropriate word for natural mothers because it seems they didn’t have a choice. At least during the closed adoption era.... more

The more I think about the subject abandonment the more I think I should write a little more on the subject.

Doesn’t the word abandonment itself seem to cause a lot of hurt feelings? Don’t all triad members have their own strong feelings about the word itself?

Maybe adoptees want an acknowledgement that they felt abandoned. It doesn’t mean that the adoptee blame the natural mothers or think that they had a choice about it. I am not saying to deny the natural mothers experience. The closed adoption era was a different... more

When it comes to how people feel the bottom lines is that each person feel the way they feel. No one can make them feel any differently and each person must work through their own feelings through time.

A natural mother may feel as if they didn’t abandon their child. They may try to find peace with that. They may feel or thing that the adoptees that feel abandoned could never understand what the natural mother s went though. Some natural mothers may not be able to understand what adoptees deal with in their every day lives.

I think... more