Less than 24 hours later, the natural mother whom I had been trying to reach now for well over a month finally called me. She reached my husband at home who was fully aware of why I was trying to reach this woman and he gave her my cell phone number. When she called I was taken back and as the conversation went on, I realized this person was just being cautious. The adoptee had phoned her and left a message. The natural mother decided to call me back prior to returning the adoptees call.

This moment of learning that her daughter... more

This week was Valentines Day and one of the things I realized is that Valentines Day isn’t just for lovers. It is for everyone that we love and care about. This is something that I didn’t always think or truly feel before I met my husband. Who by the way, treated me very good for Valentines Day.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a young woman who saw the registry that I maintain online and felt that there could be a match between herself and a natural mother listed on the registry. I received this initial email 2 or 3... more

After being away for 6 days, I came home to a full mailbox. It took me a few days to get through all of the emails and to respond but finished this task yesterday.

Yesterday was a busy day but also a rewarding one. There are times in my life that I wonder why I do what I do. Why do I continue to spend so much time on adoption search and support. There are times that I feel like I just want to let it all go and something happens to remind me that helping one individual find his or her natural mother makes it all worth while.

Well,... more

A colleague in Maryland wrote to me the other day bubbling over with excitement at a find made by her search and support group. Based on the adoptive mom’s recollections of a slip of the lip, and non-id information supplied by the attorney who handled the adoption, the group was able to identify the missing birth mother in less than the two hours that they spend together once a month. They found the birth grandfather, too. It took a couple days to update the information and to identify and verify the woman’s married name but,... more

Part 1 ended as I listened to the answer machine message of my friend D.'s potential birth dad. The message mentioned that if you were calling regarding dog rescue, blah, blah, blah......So, I goggled "dog rescue" and the town of this potential birth dad. Voilà, their address popped up on a website for dog rescues!

Call me strange, but, this seemed a very hopeful sign. I forwarded the link on to D. and told her that I had a good hunch about this man being... more

Remember that hot summer evening that I mentioned earlier? Here's that story:

July 31, 2001 is a date seared into my memory forever. A brief, but highly significant phone call from a stranger was my entry to the world of adoption reunion. One muggy, Southern California night, I received a mysterious phone call from a social worker at the agency that had handled my son’s adoption nearly 32 years earlier. A calm, motherly sounding voice quietly told me that my son was searching for me.

Her pronouncement pretty much silenced me in a heartbeat. For one of the rare moments in my life, I was rendered nearly speechless. From the moment the social worker told me that my son was... more

" The biggest myth about Southern women is that we are frail types--fainting on our sofas...nobody where I grew up every acted like that. We were about as fragile as coal trucks." --Lee Smith Now, I bet you’re scratching your head about now, wanting to know, what on earth that funny quote above has to do with anything. I like it – that’s all. Oh, and I grew up in the South and consider myself a “steel magnolia” type of Southern woman. If nothing else positive – losing my first son to adoption – did help make me a strong woman! You know that theory? “What doesn’t kill you makes you strong.”

By the way, I probably should introduce myself - I'm Jan and a mother who... more