For the past 5 years, Chris has always acknowledged my birthday in some way. Generally it is with a phone call or a card. Last year, he was here and gave me a present. I always call him on his birthday and send a card and gift. This is all background info.

When I called him on his birthday this year, I got his voice mail – hardly surprising. He is busier than any three people that I know. People often ask me how I find the time to do all that I do. Being 22 years younger than I am, Chris lives at an even more frenetic pace than I do.

When... more

On Sept 9, my son's birthday, I talked about my extraordinary son, how proud I am of him and how pleased that he exists. I was feeling settled with our reunion, grateful for what we have.

Then, a day later, I had a meltdown. What to do, I thought in the midst of the tears streaming down my face? Do I pretend all is well, and just keeping on blogging about the usual stuff?

Next, I thought some more and recalled that we have had other blogger meltdowns. Chronicling our meltdowns gives a more accurate portrayal of our lives, for me that... more

In the letter to my son's other mother, which I referred to at the end of part 1,I told her what an amazing job she had done raising our son. I spoke of Chris being all that any mother could ever wish for in a son. She called it a beautiful letter - I wanted it to be. The more time that I spend with Chris, the more convinced I am that he is a most extraordinary young man, just as my other son is.

It is an interesting experience getting to know a child that... more

Today is my son, Chris' birthday. I can joyfully celebrate his birthdays now that he is back in my life. It feels so natural and right to finally be able to appreciate and consider the day he was born as an occasion to celebrate.

Birthdays, particularly those of my children, often make me nostalgic. As my son Chris' birthday has loomed closer, my thoughts have drifted to our last visit nearly a month ago. We sat by the water on a log for hours just chatting. As we watched, kite boarders leapt from the water in front of us up into the air. For me,... more

To build a reunion relationship, you need to proceed slowly. When I spoke to my son on the phone that first time, we had a warm and congenial conversation. The words came easily for us. I think that he would agree.

Because our first contact was so positive, I was very enthusiastic and ready to shift into high gear with our relationship. I wanted closeness and a connection right away. Although I felt a connection immediately, it takes time to build a relationship, even when the two people are related. Those years apart is a barrier of sorts.

When... more

"I never remember a time when I didn't know that I was adopted," he said next. "That's good", I told him, "that's how it is supposed to be." Sitting next to my son on the log, with the cool breeze blowing was heavenly for me. I could not imagine anything better.

I sat quietly part of the time, just relishing making this memory with my son. Words were unnecessary, just being together was enough. Memories are not plentiful for us, and it is important to me that we create some good ones together. Mothers and sons should have some recollections... more

After a pleasant and chatty lunch, we head off to a park that is popular with kite-boarders. He wanted to check and see if there was enough wind for any of his kite-boarding buddies to be out on the water. The wind was perfection, so, one young man with his kite was just heading out to the water as we arrived. Several more launched as we watched.

We walked down the steps to the beach and then plunked ourselves down to rest on a long thick log strewn across the sand. As we sat there watching, Chris watched enviously as his friends... more

Mother and son - yes and no. In some ways, I feel strongly like his mother - in my heart I am. I should say, I feel like one of his mothers. Never do I forget that he has another mother as well. In other respects, it seems more as though I am a fraud, not really his mother, just pretending.

I signed papers saying that I was giving up the right to be his mother. I never did all those traditional mom acts - watching his first step, changing diapers, etc. I am proud of him as a mother is though, and happy to be with him.

As... more

Trips to Seattle are a regular part of my life now, and I hope now that they always will be! Although for years I hated the thought of the City because it reminded me of the saddest event of my life (losing my son to adoption), I now love the area. My son, Chris is there, and I spend time with and get to know him in the City. I can enjoy Seattle for the beautiful city that it really is, and love it because my son is there.

Chris grew up close to Seattle with his adoptive family. Therefore, he spent much of his childhood outdoors in... more

When I found out that my son wanted to know me, I joyfully embraced the opportunity. I offered him my heart. It was all so confusing in those early days; I was so uncertain as to the "protocol" for reunion. At times I would read about reunion and think, "Aha, this is what he wants." Sometimes it worked, other times, I discovered my son did not necessarily want or need what some book or other adoptee might want.

However, offering him unconditional love seemed a safe bet. He could accept it, fight it, be ambivalent about whether he wanted it or not, run from it or reject me for... more