Our daughter was born a few months before my 17th birthday. (Here's Part 1 and Part 2 of this story.) The subject of adoption never came up. We had married and were excited and happy to become parents. I was probably more thrilled than my husband, but, he seemed ready to become a husband and father. He was a bit older than I was - nearly 22.

My daughter's reluctant paternal grandmother had a complete change... more

Sixteen years old, unmarried and pregnant. Over 40 years ago, the options were limited for a young woman in that "condition". Marriage, a back-room illegal abortion or adoption were the most popular choices. Single mothers were rare. There was only one choice in my mind though.

Not everyone was too happy about our marriage plans though even knowing a baby was on the way. My future mother-in-law even paid a visit to me imploring me to reconsider our marriage plans. She was concerned about our marriage ruining her only son's career. He was just about to enter medical school.... more

Recently, my adored 7-year old granddaughter called and asked if she could come over the next day. I get busy and sometimes think it is time for a dose of my lively granddaughter, but, do not act on my impulse. Just lately, she has begun to call me and invite herself over. I'm so glad that she does.

A phone call from her always delights me, and I feel honored that she enjoys her Gram enough to want to spend time with me. She lives only 15-20 minutes away, so, the distance makes visits easy and often.

The last time she was over a few weeks ago, we did some gardening... more

The biggest myth about why most women relinquish is that it is a choice that they make because they do not love or want their child. In most cases, it is just the opposite. Some women convince themselves (or others do) that the "loving" choice is to relinquish. In some extreme situations, this could be true.

Those who work in adoptions sometimes may use a pregnant woman's love for her child to their advantage. They may tell her that the loving choice is for her to relinquish her child. And, what if she compares what she has to offer with that of more mature, settled,... more

For some women, it only takes one of the many reasons mentioned in part 1 to decide to relinquish, or to be pressured into doing so. Some people attach enough significance to two-parent families, that factor alone may cause a relinquishment. Other women may have several factors that play a part in their decision (or the decision of the authority figures who make their decision for them).

There are plenty of seemingly plausible and sensible reasons for a woman to relinquish, but, what does it really take for a woman to be emotionally able to do so? I believe that denial,... more