A discussion recently at the CubAll List set me to thinking about what adoptees want from their birth parents at reunion. I am referring specifically to tangible inheritances, acknowledgements in family obituaries and Grandma’s China. What one adoptee might want or need could be radically different from another. I found that out myself from my own personal experiences with my son.

The cub-all list provides a gathering place for all of us to connect with... more

Often reunion is described as a roller coaster ride. For many of us who have experienced reunion, it does seem to be an accurate description, particularly in the initial stages. There may be high excitement, then a deep plunge downward that may be hard to handle. Like a roller coaster ride, reunion can be exciting, scary and yes, have very definite highs and lows.

If you tend to be someone who is used to a sedate and calm life, you will need to hold on tight and expect life to be different for awhile. There's no way around it for most people in reunion. That... more

My husband and I were staying in a cottage nearby and had driven over to check out the town the day before. Checking the town out the day before our meeting was a really good idea, as that first time in the town that my son grew up in was an unexpected and extremely emotional experience. I was surprised at how difficult it was for me.

Time was passing and it was time to pick up the roses. They looked great and I was ready to find her house. It was then I discovered that I had left the directions back at the cottage. I wanted to panic and cry, yet... more

Since my son's other mother(his adoptive mom) lives several states away, we have only met once so far. Our first meeting took place 2-3 years ago. The details of our meeting are vivid in my mind.

Although I appeared calm, inside I was a wreck on the day of our visit. I wanted to meet her alone, so we agreed that I would drive to her home and then walk into town for lunch. The thought of seeing her with our son was not something I was ready to face yet; I thought it would wound me to the core. I knew that they were close and I felt that seeing their... more

Later on that night Nolberta called me and said that her husband and kids were excited to meet me. A week later I met her husband and my two brothers. I didn’t get to meet my sister because she lives in Montana at the time. One thing I noticed was a lot of young children living in her home. Later that night we spoke on the phone and I asked her who all those children were. She stated that they all were her foster children and that they were foster parents for at least 25 years. She said she was paying God back for what she did 38 years ago by giving me up for... more

Meanwhile my adopted mother found out she had breast cancer so the guilt started to dig deep into my heat. I thought how I could keep going on with the search. So I decided to keep looking. 6 months past and we narrowed my birthmother’s maiden name to three woman and three addresses. One of them was in San Jose where I worked, so one day I was delivering concrete and saw her address so I pulled over and knocked at the door and asked if they ordered concrete. The person that answered the door was my brother but I didn’t know at the time. Three weeks passed... more

Two months later the information came in the mail. It stated that my mother was 5ft, 95 lbs, and she worked in a doctor’s office. She was 25 years old at the time of my birth. My father was Mexican, brown hair and eyes, 5’6, and had a 10th grade education and also worked full time. It was a brief affair and they were not interested in marriage. About three months later at my place of employment I was delivering concrete to a job site and I was talking to a gentleman I have know for 20 years, whose name is Carlos. He asked me what I had been up too, and I told him I... more

I saw the following on the Concerned United Birth Parent mailing list and thought it was an excellent piece. After contacting the author, Jim Serrano, I asked for and received his permission to reprint his article titled "Twice Adopted" on the blog. I hope you enjoy it.

You are probably wondering why I called my story twice adopted; well here is the journey and the facts as to why the title sums up my life.

I was adopted at two weeks of age and the second adoption was seven years ago when I found unconditional love from my Lord and Savior, Jesus... more

Although Barbara Gonyo agrees that acting on these feelings would be a horrible mistake she acknowledges that in adoption reunion “emotionally you are the adult, and they are the child. If you go through with the sexual act, then I hold the parent responsible, not the child.”

I think what Barbara Gonyo was trying to get a across is that those experiencing genetic sexual attraction need support and there needs to be a sensitivity to the attraction that adoptees and natural parents may have for each other.

The bottom line to all the guest comments... more

An article was published on Monday, February 19, 2007. The entire story aired on ABC’s Primetime Live, on Tuesday, February 20, 2007.

The title of the article and show was "Brother and Sister, and Lovers. " The subject was Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Although I was not able to watch the entire segment, I did catch bits and pieces. Joe Soll was one of the guests speaking on the attraction that natural parents and adoptees feel. I did find it odd that Joe was not identified... more